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we'll make it anywhere.. away from here

wow, it's getting so close now. in just two days, i'll finally be out of here and in atlanta to start over at tech. you know, and it might be an exageration to say this, but it doesn't even feel like i'm starting over. it feels more like i'm starting for the first time. everything up until now has just been preparation, but this - this is where it all begins. now that i'm leaving, i can finally start my life.

most of my summer has been pretty uneventful, but the last couple of weeks have had more excitement than i've seen in quite a while. for once i had a descent excuse for my inactivity when i lost the internet for two weeks. it started out with my mom accidently throwing away the bill because she didn't know we had switched providers, but it continued due to some family problems. i won't get into it, but let's just say we're down to about five pieces of glassware..

with family issues resolved (or at the very least, better), i finally had a chance to turn my attention to school related things. lately, my sister and i have been going out a lot to try to find all the things i'll need for college. i thought i was late for starting two weeks before leaving, but while shopping, i've seen more people from school than ever. we've gotten pretty much all the things i need at this point, but there's still a couple big things i have to buy - namely, a new computer and my books. my sister bought me a cool tech mouse pad the other day, but i guess the rest of it has yet to come.

with school so close now, i'm more excited than ever to get there. a few weeks ago, details of my soon to be life were revealed when i received my schedule and room assignment. i have no problems with the former, but i was a little dissapointing with my living arrangement. it ends up i won't be living with michael this year, but will instead be rooming with some guy named myles from boca raton (someone from my friend's list is from there..). i have yet to contact him, but hopefully, he won't be too bad. really, my biggest fear is just that he might be a homophobe. i already knew michael was ok with it, but now that i'm not going to be rooming with him, it's kind thrown me for a loop. hopefully it'll be ok though.

so, i guess this will be the last entry i write before heading off to tech. i'll try to write another as soon as i get internet there, but i'm sort of wondering how much i'll write after that. i only wrote about five entries for my entire senior year, and i wasn't even all that busy. in college, i'll probably have even less time than before! i really hope i don't get too lazy about writing though.. this is something i think i'll really want to remember.

city sights...

ugh, i'm finally about done with my new layout. all i have left is the userinfo, calendar, and any last tweaking, and i'm done. it's probably taken me longer to make than any other layout, so hopefully, it's not too bad. it was my first attempt at a paid account, so it's only an s1 style. i'm wondering if an s2 is even feasible for me. it looks kind of hard.. at the very least, i created one layout with my paid time, i guess. hopefully my secret benefactor won't be too disappointed..

other than making the layout, i've been pretty lazy, as usual. i did manage to get out of the house once to help my sister in finding a new car, though. at first she wanted to be conservative and look at used car lots, but i managed to get her to go to the nissan dealer. after we got there, it wasn't long before the salesman convinced her to buy a new sentra. it's not exactly the ideal car to get, but it's pretty nice and pretty cheap, too. it's great to finally have a car with a cd player..

it's weird how my sister can manage to buy a new car, yet i'm still struggling to raise money.. i looked into loans some more lately, and apparently, i won't be able to get one without a cosigner. there's no way my dad can do it, and i really don't know anyone else who'd be willing, so for now at least, i'm stuck.. if anyone out there who is over 21, makes at least $1,800 a month, and has decent credit wants to help out, that'd be great. i'd make it worth your while, if you know what i mean.. and if you were thinking making the payments on time to increase your credit, that's exactly what i mean. heck, if you could help me get at least $6,000, i'd even be willing to throw in some money or something. as you can see, it's a win-win situation. otherwise, my backups right now are either selling my virginity on the internet or telling people i'll eat one of my cats if they don't donate enough money. hey, i've seen them work in the past..

so.. it's finally over

well, since i've last written, a fair amount of things have taken place, to say the least. from the ending of school to the beginning of summer, i've had quite a bit of things to keep me busy with. however, now that the excitement has died down some, i think it's time that i finally write some of these things down.

the first of the major events since my last entry would probably be the ap exams. i had three total, but in all honesty, i didn't (and still don't) care too much how i did on them. tech doesn't accept stat, i plan on taking calc over regardless, and really, taking lit over wouldn't be that big of a deal either. still, despite my nonchalance to how i did, i think it's hard to really feel at ease while taking something like that. i guess being locked away for three hours with nothing to do but multiple choice questions and essays will do that to you. i tried drawing pictures on the booklets to ease some of the stress, but it was still pretty nerve wracking. i should get the results of my week of testing in about a month. i'm burning with anticipation.

soon after exams were done, we finally got our yearbooks. i didn't find it especially impressive (i never do..), but really, i guess it's the memories i relive with it that really count. i had quite a bit of pictures in it this year; possibly more than in all the other yearbooks combined. sadly, most of them were taken when i had bad looking short hair.. for some reason, i decided to get it cut short again, despite my better judgement, a couple days ago. i think it looks pretty good this time, but i guess i'll let everyone else decide. i'll try to post a before and after picture as soon as i can get my hands on a camera.

following the yearbooks, there were only a few of weeks before school finally came to an end. with the exception of a few, i didn't even work anymore in most of my classes. in lit we got to watch a nice italian movie called life is beautiful, and in calculus our time was occupied by a movie about an ap calc class somewhere on the west coast. i don't remember the name of that one, but i found it suprisingly good.. especially considering the subject matter. the only classes i really had any work in were stat and architecture. for the former, my group and i wrote a paper proving that shakespeare's plays differ significantly from other works written in modern english, thereby justifying our never having to read his material ever again, and for the later, i built this awesome looking house out of foam board. i should really try to get the pictures my teacher took of the that. i probably spent over ten hours on the thing, so it'd be nice to have something to remember it by..

after completing those projects, school was pretty much done for me. i exempted all my exams, so i didn't have to come for that. i did, however, have to come for a final time to go to one of our graduation practices/the senior luncheon. overall, i thought it was pretty boring, but i did get some free food and our senior dvd out of it (it has the senior production and some other things). the event was made a little worse for me since drew decided not to stay long. despite everything, i still can't help caring about him.. i guess the effects of a four year obsession die hard.

with the first practice done, there was only one more before the real thing. however, before i could even go to that, there was still one thing i had to do - write my speach. i was told weeks before that i'd have to do one, but it wasn't until the day of that i even started on the thing (an hour before i left for practice, actually..). luckily, all i had to do was the welcome, so it didn't have to be long. here's what i came up with, if anyone's actually interested:

my awful speach..Collapse )

yeah, pretty awful.. when i got to the practice, i got mrs. rosier to check, and she said it was fine. she was probably just glad i had a speach at all though. other than that, i can't remember anything that was really signficant about the practice.. i think i spent the majority of the time just sitting on the stage daydreaming. drew didn't pay any attention to me, so it kind of put me in a down mood. i told myself to not expect anything, but i think i still did in the back of my mind. i just wanted the maybe last day i ever saw him to mean something i guess. there was still the graduation to look forward to at least. nothing better than getting your hopes squished twice in one day..

soon after getting home from practice, i took a quick nap before starting to get ready for the real thing. i was supposed to wear a black tie for the event, but that posed a bit of a problem since i seem to have lost mine. i ended up wearing a kid's tie my sister had laying around instead. it only came down to the top of my stomach, but with the robe on, you couldn't even tell. my mom didn't want to go and my brother was no where to be found, so after gathering up the few who actually were coming (my sister and dad), we were off to graduation.

when i first arrived, there weren't many there yet. i wasn't exactly sure on the time, so we ended up coming about thirty minutes early. it left a perfect opportuniy to try to figure out how to get all the different cords and medals on, though. when i took the one for the national honor society out of the box, the pendant part fell right off. i ended up using a pin michael had to piece it together for the ceremony. the worst part is i had to pay for that thing.. those cheap bastards.

after finally getting everything on straight, i got to spend the rest of the time mingling with my peers. quite honestly, i don't think i'll miss most of them, and the ones i will, i'll probably keep in touch with. still, when we were all there, waiting for graduation to start, i felt a bit sad to leave them all. i guess i was just caught up in the moment or something, but it felt really nice talking to them all. it was made even better since drew seemed to be paying notice to me. aside from not knowing how to use the bathroom with my robe on, i really had a good time.

i guess all good things must come to an end though. for me, the good times ended when we stopped the mingling and started lining up to go in. before that point, graduation really wasn't much of a source of jitters for me. i wasn't exactly excited for graduation, so i really didn't think about it enough to worry. however, now faced with the cheering crowd and the long walk to the stage, the nervousness flooded in. the fact that i wasn't the only one consoled me a bit at least. i think being at the front of the line probably canceled it's effects, though.. after the teachers filed in, it was finally time to go in and start the graduation.

after actually getting in there, graduation really flew by for me. i guess it was all the excitement or something. i was third up for speaches, but it ended up not being as bad as i thought. i'm sure the fact that i was up there for such a short time really helped that out a bit. my sister recorded the whole thing, and it came up being only about half a minute long. my friend jadiel gave me a thumbs up after i finished, so i imagine i didn't do that badly. in any case, it was over with, and i had the rest of graduation to sit back and relax. another hour or two, and it was all over.

meeting up after graduation was kind of like it was before graduation. there was again that feeling that i was sad to leave everyone, but as an added bonus, there was crying from a few, too. i was actually on the verge myself a few times, but i held out pretty well. i spent a bit of time looming around drew, contemplating actually going up and saying something to him, but going through with it was too much for me. he, at least from what i saw, seemed to be thinking the same thing but ended up doing only as well as me. the thought that he might have at least wanted to say something was enough to make me feel fine about things between us ending. i figure being delusional about what his actions really mean at this point doesn't make much of a difference anymore anyway.

following the final meetup with my class, we finally got our diplomas. they kept them away from us until after the ceremony was done to keep us from doing anything crazy like throwing our mortar boards in the air. apparently they deem that as inappropriate behaviour for a graduation (wtf?). with our diplomas finally in hand, we made our way out to meet up with family and friends. i finally got to meet alisha's grandmother, which is something i've looked forward to for a while, and i said hi to some friends i hadn't seen in a while too. however, pretty soon my dad and sister were getting kind of restless to go, so i obliged and we went on our way. having to leave everyone, i found not crying even harder and shed a few tears. it really felt over now.

with it all done with, the car ride home gave me a chance to recover a bit and think about everything that had just happened. despite me not really caring about graduation in the beginning, it seemed like such a worthwhile experience now. it was so much more than just saying your goodbyes on the last day of school. for me at least, it meant finally reaching closure. it marked the end of high school and the start of a whole new life.

obligatory gradation picCollapse )

well, now that summer break in full force, i wish i could say that i'm making the most of my "new life", but that'd be a lie. i spent the first few days glued to the computer. it became stale pretty quickly, though. after that, i rediscovered tv and video games to pass the time more quickly. while school was in, i all but banned them both from my life, but now faced with the impeding boredom, i don't think i really have a choice. i bought civilization iii and sim city 3000 the other day (only ten dollars each!), and they've been more than enough to devour my life completely.

looking at what i'm doing now, it's funny to think that my initial plans for summer were to work so i could raise money for a computer. i actually did work for a little, but after one day, it became obvious that doing it for the rest of the break was not something i wanted to do. instead, i've become resolute to the fact that i will need loans if i hope to have any chance of surviving. along with getting the essentials like a new computer and food, they'll also give me the opportunity to get some fun things like an ipod and new clothes. i might be going into debt, but at the very least, i'm going to enjoy it.

with my previous plans gone, i really don't have much i have to do this summer. other than getting all the college things taken care of, making a new layout is the only thing i can really think of. a secret benefactor bought me some paid time a while ago, so i feel obliged to make a style before it runs out. i've tried some before, but i seem to be in a designer's block. i have to hurry if i want to get it done though; it expires in a little more than two weeks.

well, if i don't get anything else done, at the very least i've written this entry. it's sad to think that even with this one, i have less than ten entries to remember my senior year by. lets hope that i do better in college.

if you actually read that all, good for you! as a reward i'll give you the link to this cool site that i heard about on g4. it's kind of childish, but i thought it was funny. i heard it doesn't work for everyone, but hopefully you'll be one of the lucky ones : ).

times are hard for dreamers

i know i said i'd try to update again before spring break was over, but things came up and i lost track of time. lots of stuff has happened in the two or three weeks since i last wrote, and it's been keeping me pretty busy. why must everything happen in the last few weeks of school?

after my last entry, my plan was to finish up my school assignment before getting in one last entry for the break. however, this was soon interrupted by a call from michelle. there was going to be a lock in at the church, and she wouldn't be satisfied until i agreed to go. i was reluctant, but it's hard for me to say no to anyone. i was to be picked up at five with my brother, who she also coerced into going.

the next twelve or so hours were full of weird games, movies, and tons of junk food. really, aside from the occasional church related activity, it was a lot like a big slumber party. i don't really feel like going into the details of the night, but overall, it was pretty fun. the lack of any sleep kind of sucked, but overall it was nice.

thanks to slumber party lock in and the subsequent day of rest i took, i was now left with only one day left in the break. i tried starting on my homework early so i could get to another entry, but my procrastination got the best of me. i started working sometime in the afternoon, but i didn't finish until about three in the morning. i should probably get better at that time management thing if i plan on making it in college..

the week following the break, i finally got some correspondence from the credit card people. they didn't include the credit card yet, but they did inform me of the limit i was going to get. only a mere $250. it was just enough for the acceptance deposit for tech, so i surely didn't have enough to rent a tux for prom. after what i found out the following monday, it was probably for the best that i didn't go, anyway.

when i got back to school after the weekend, it was much like it was last year: all the girls still had their prom do's, stories of what happened were floating around everywhere, and of course - the pictures. mrs. bowman took a lot while she was there, so she shared them with us while in drafting. most of them were nothing out of the ordinary, but one stood out to me in particular. there was a picture of drew and his prom date, latoya.

after the initial shock was over, i found it hard to keep from crying. when latoya went off to college, i thought for sure they had broken up. apparently, that was only a sad mistake though. if they're still going out, that means they're going on two years now. thinking about everything just made me feel stupid for ever believing there was hope in the first place. a lot of people asked me what was wrong, but it just made me want to cry even more. luckily, when i got to the bus, most of the people were missing, and i got to sit in the back alone. i cried most of the way home, something i haven't done that since freshmen year..

surprisingly, my depression didn't last long. that probably had a lot to do with how bad things with drew were going anyway. i was lucky to see him at all during the day now, and it had just become less since he stopped taking the route past my locker. i guess seeing the picture was just a reality check. still, it was the last thing i wanted..

after monday, i rebounded pretty quickly. by friday, i was well enough to go to the final math competition of the year. this one was better than the last as it was at fort discovery, the local science and math center for kids, rather than a boring university. when we finished up with the competition part of the day, we had a brief lunch, and then got the opportunity to wander around and look at the different exhibits before the award ceremony. most of the people who came had us history work to do, but the two brittany's and i got to do some exploring. if you're ever in augusta, it's a pretty nifty place to go.

when we had finally finished looking around, we all met back up in the auditorium for the award ceremony. i thought the competition was ridiculously easy, but i still wasn't sure how we'd fare compared to everyone else. none of the varsity members won any individual awards, but in the group part, we tied for second place. in junior varsity, we had a few individual winners and got first for the team part. overall, it was much better than our last competition.

i expected the following week to be pretty enjoyable considering it was senior week, but really, friday was the only day that even approached fun. pretty surprising considering the week they set up for us:

senior week scheduleCollapse )

with days like that, who would have guessed it wouldn't be that exciting? really, i don't even remember the mardi gras day. come to think of it, i don't think i was even there. hmm, i guess i went to the math competition that day then.. meh, i don't feel like rearranging the entry so that it's chronological.

anyway, along with friday being royalty day, it was also the day of the senior production. classes were cut short, and at the end of the day, we all piled into the gym for the two hour show. most of the it just included dance sequences, but the part i enjoyed most was the different skits. they had reenactments of past events, parody's of teachers, and even an american idol knock-off. i was in the show for a little for this parade thing, but no one even told me about it until that very afternoon. they ended up cutting a lot of parts due to time, but it was still pretty good. i got kind of sweaty from being packed into our small air conditioningless gym for so long, but i still had a nice time.

this week has been a lot less slack then last week was. ap exams are next week, and i've been getting lots of practice exams to prepare for it. i hope i do well on them. i'm pretty sure that ga tech only accepts fives (the highest you can get). no pressure though.

speaking of college, i finally got most of the stuff squared away. i got the deposits paid just barely on time (they're due may 1st), and i even signed up to get my friend michael as my room mate. when he first asked if i'd room with him, i thought nothing of just saying yes. after thinking about it though, it seemed kind of wrong to room with him without telling him i was gay. i had been trying to tell him for the past two weeks, but i finally did it yesterday. it was a lot harder than it had been when i told anyone else, but luckily, he was absolutely fine with it. with a little luck, we should be rooming together next year.

geeze, college really isn't that far away now. i say it's next year, but really, "next year" is a mere four monthes away. it's so exciting to finally be able to get out of here. school's become so stale recently. i'm stifled by how everyday seems to be so much like the last. i can't wait until everything can finally be new again.

just something to feel new again..

so another two monthes have passed, and it feels like everything is happening at once. this week being spring break has finally given me a chance to catch up on everything i need to do. between school, church, and college things, i've just had no time at all..

soon after writing my last entry, i finally got my long awaited acceptance letter from tech while wandering around lost downtown (i'll explain that in another entry). i thought being accepted would be the hard part, but i feel just as pressured as i did before.. now, instead of worrying about getting accepted, i have the worry of trying to find the money to go. if i can finish verifying my fafsa, i should have most of it taken care of. i still have a couple thousand to go though..

i won the star student thing for our school, so i'm hoping that will end in me getting something. there was an award ceremony a few weeks back where we got a certificate, but i've yet to see any money. i did get a little spot in the newspaper along with the other star students of the county though. too bad i hate pictures..

aside from the school related happenings, i've been busy with many church fundraisers recently thanks to my sister. she needs to raise money to take a mission trip to bulgaria, so i've been enlisted as cheap free labour on the weekends until she can reach her quota. so far, there's been a bake sale, a yard sale, a car wash, and a tip night, so many a saturday have been lost to her cruel slavery. i think she's raised most of what she needs by now though, so hopefully, my weekends can be mind once again.

now that spring break has started, i've become detestably lazy. most days have included wandering around online, playing video games, or watching tv. i have particularly enjoyed watching espn as of late; i think it's fun to be able to see my town on national television. other than during masters, the only time i've seen augusta in the news is when we were the only city in the u.s. to refuse to show queer eye for the straight guy. what a sad day that was..

today marks the height of my activity during this week. along with making this update, i spent the bulk of today making a snazzy new layout. the other one was geting old, so i thought something bright and springy would be nice. i put a new counter on it, so i lost my seven thousand something hits (most of which were probably me). i like this one better because it can track unique visitors. that way, when i refresh my friends page twenty times, it won't mess up the count.

over this week, i was hoping to work some to come up with money to go to the prom, but i don't think it's going to happen. not that i don't have the opportunity to work, i just don't feel up to it. i still may be able to go if my credit card comes in time though.. i signed up for it to pay for the deposits for tech (wtf, they cost $850!), but if i get the thousand dollar limit that i applied for, i can use the left over money to get a tux. that still leaves the question of who i would go with though..

i honestly have no clue who i'd go with if i went, if anyone at all. this guy from davidson asked me to take him, but i'm thinking no.. not that there's anything wrong with him, i just don't like the idea of rumors floating around about me and some other guy. i'm still kind of hoping for something to happen with drew (who, by the way, sadly did not make it into tech..), and i doubt hearing about me going to prom with some gay guy from davidson will up my chances any..

another person people have been telling me to go with is this girl named jessica. we've been talking for a couple weeks while waiting for the bus, and from the way people mention her to me, i'm just about positive she has a crush on me. she even gave me her phone number the other day and told me to call her. if i do ever call her, i'm thinking i'll tell her i'm gay though. she's nice, but i don't think i'd want to take her to prom.. unless i can find someone soon, i may be doomed to go alone.

i probably forgot to mention quite a bit of things, but this should give you a jist of what's been going on for me lately. i'll try to update at least once more before spring break is through, but after that, i can't say when my next entry will be. ap exams are coming up soon, so i'll probably be getting a lot of work to prepare for that soon. then there's the scholarship stuff i need to do, and graduation is coming up too. i really should update more often though. it'd be sad if i only had four or five entries to remember my senior year by.. i'll try to update more.invisible

january.. what's that?

wow, it's like i blinked and another month went by. i guess i've been too busy to notice or something - which is odd, because i don't remember doing much. in any case, i'm just glad to get the year done quicker. i'm ready to get out of here.

i remember very little prior to this weekend, so i imagine all i've been doing is schoolwork. unless, of course, i've just been getting so drunk every night that i can't remember what i've been doing. that's doubtful though. i think i'll just ignore the fact that there was a month between this entry and my last and start my update with friday.

friday at school was the ring ceremony for the juniors. traditionally, all the teachers are pretty lax, so it doubles as senior skip day too. of course, i had to be one of the few die hards who came to school anyway. there were about thirty others who came (which is actually quite a bit considering there are a hundred total), and most of the day was spent either talking or playing various games. during my physics class, there were only three other people with me, so i decided to head up to mr. aaron's room. he had a gamecube hooked up to the projector and everyone was in there playing mario kart. after school, i went to the mall where i found all the missing students. another mystery solved.

the next day, instead of enjoying the weekend like normal people, i decided to use my saturday to go to a science bowl competition at usc. it's my hope that the sacrifice will appease the admission gods at tech. we lost all our rounds, but i wasn't expecting too much anyway. we had no practices and half the team was recruited only a week earlier. still, despite the utter and humiliating failure, i had fun. i got to hang out with some cool people, and i got free cookies too. this week, i'll be spending my friday in a math competition at asu. i know what you're thinking, and yes, i really am just that cool.

sunday was supposed to be spent finishing up a to do list i had made, but i somehow didn't start on it until about ten at night. after finishing one thing on it (reading a hundred pages of crime and punishment and doing twenty five questions on it), it was about three o'clock, so i passed out for a couple hours. considering that one of the things i had to do was apply to a college, this did not work out too well. after waking up, i tried my best to rush through my morning routine and go to the computer to apply to uga. i started at six, but i didn't finish until eight, only an hour short of the nine am deadline. if it wasn't clear by my excessive lack of updates, i think it's obvious now why i was voted "most procrastinative" in my class.. i ended up missing my bus, but considering no one seems to care whether i go to school or not, nobody would agree to drive me. the rest of the day was spent finishing things up on my list and taking a nice nap. it was a wonderful day.

the other day, alisha mentioned that a lot of the people around here use xanga rather than livejournal. after searching around for a little while, i'd have to say that i agree. while looking for people in the augusta metro area, i found various people from school and just about every single person at my church (they actually have there own community on there). although i livejournal is infinitely better, i think i'm going to make a xanga account too. i'll just post the same entries, minus anything that says i'm gay.

yay, i'm glad i updated. i feel accomplished :).

[edit] i forgot to mention this, but if anyone wants a gmail invite, please just ask. i don't care if i know you or not. i've somehow acquired a hundred invites, and i have absolutely no need for them. [/edit]

well, this is sure to be anticlimactic..

yes, i'm finally updating. after over four months on an unofficial hiatus, i think i'm going to try to get back to writing semi-regularly again. i would tell why i haven't been updating, but i don't think most people would understand my obsessive compulsive reasoning. lets just say it has something to do with numbers..

well, now that i'm back, i'd like to say there was some interesting things to report, but there really hasn't been. mostly, my life has just been revolving around school, only punctuated for brief periods for sleep and eating. having projects due just about every week has kept me pretty busy. i've been stressing on getting better grades in the hopes that my last ditch efforts might sway people looking at my college applications. so far, the only school i've applied to is georgia tech, but considering i haven't heard anything from them yet, i'm starting to worry that only applying for one school might not be the brightest choice. i guess i could try for uga or gsu..

now that i'm on break, i've pretty much been lazing around all day. i've only really accomplishing two things during the entire vacation. the first of the two is finally reading the perks of being a wallflower. i had been meaning to since summer, but i didn't get around to it until now. i thought it was good, but that doesn't really say much.. i think that any book i actually finish is good. it reminded me a lot of the stranger for some reason. if you liked that book, maybe you'll like this one too.

the other major accomplishment for the break is finishing my drafting project. it was actually supposed to be the project we were doing in class for the six weeks, but i guess i got a bit lazy.. mrs. bowman was nice enough to let me do it over the break. even though i had an entire two weeks to finish it, i didn't get done until last night/this morning. it's online if anyone actually wants to see it. if it looks familiar, its because i copied to layout from my journal for it. i would have made something original, but after the sun came up, things like an original design really didn't seem to matter much.. i think i did pretty bad on it, but at least mrs. bowman liked it. i guess in the end, that's all that really matters.

today's the last day of break for me, and i'm pretty excited about getting back to school. it'll be nice to see friends again.. and to see drew again too. over the past few months, his attention on me has waned, but i'm still pretty enamoured with him. i guess i'm pretty pathetic, huh? i've liked him for over three years now, and besides stalking him, i haven't done anything to try to go out with him. maybe this year i guess. i hope it's not too late..

well, like the title suggested, this entry has been pretty boring. maybe they'll get better once i get back into the swing of things. i guess writing more often can be part of my new year's resolution: be a better person. i'm hoping the vagueness of the resolution will help me accomplish it.. maybe not.

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